Mellman is Jewish. Adey grew up in Skokie, Illinois, a center of Jewish culture on the north side of Chicago. She went to Hebrew school, threw her sins into the Chicago river on Yom Kippur, was bas mitzvahed at 13, and was sure the plane was going to crash when the stewardess told her that her kosher bologna sandwich was ham. Adey’s family was boisterous, affectionate, and expressive. With 10 people at the table there were five conversations; with five people there were six; with one person, four; all at once, each louder than the next, a symphonic crescendo of kosher passion.
Wassink is Dutch. Windmills, klompen shoes, tulips. Tom grew up in Holland (Michigan), where the Dutch were quiet, staid, and proper. One conversation at a time, no matter how many at the table; don’t get too excited (things will get worse) or too sad (you’re not dead yet); clapping and shouting only when your team (Go Blue!) wins, and quiet tears only at funerals as you eat jello salad and sliced ham on a white bun (crying for the deceased, not the food).
So when Adey and Tom met, it was somewhere between peanut butter and jelly and matter-antimatter: awesome complementarity that produced a lot of energy. And 5 children. And now a church. Tom and Adey came to Iowa City in 1996. While Tom finished his training in psychiatry, Adey started the church that has become Sanctuary. She is the Senior Pastor, holding a Doctorate in Missiology from Fuller Theological Seminary; Tom is a staff pastor and a psychiatrist at the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics.